Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Family focus

the last several weeks i've noticed myself focused on the values and relationships of families. growing up, i was very close to mine and have many, many wonderful memories from my childhood. but over time, the family has grown apart. i feel as though i've done my part by trying to keep close the ties that bind us, but it can only work if all parties participate. the same can be said for my friendships from college and for the most part, both groups and i communicate in one form or another. what i find strange about my family is how differently we function from others, particularly those of the men i've dated.

i've dated 3 men long term, 1 i am currently and the other 2 were 4 plus year relationships. i'm sure many blogs will mention these relationships because i've learned so much from all. but in this instance allow me to focus on their closeness to their families, some of who are countries apart. all of us have relatives we're embarrassed about, but because of blood ties, we do our part to remain tolerant. i'm not sure my family is quite as proficient with this, but with rob, mikee, and alex they stand by their families no matter what. and there's been some crazy sh!t to make anyone want to avoid further drama. I can understand why these ties are so tight despite madness, but i'm a little unsure how i feel about this compared to my own experience.

the devotion to family was recently brought up in the latest story arc in the Wonder Woman comic book. the title character's mother, queen hippolyta, has gone to extreme lengths to ensure the safety of her daughter, until her efforts eventually backfired and she was indirectly involved in the death of the princess. wonder woman was eventually resurrected, and the queen continues to strive to carry out her intense devotion to her only child, but it surprises me how these stories in ways reflect the reality i have seen with said partners. hmm, maybe it's just the bond between parents (mothers?) and their children, or maybe it's a sense of tradition that proves the test of time.

i wonder how i should feel knowing my family has divided into diverging paths while others that i have become closely involved with remain so heavily connected. i hate to think that it is death of a loved one or some other monumental crisis that will pull us together, however briefly, to be the ingredient to reuniting what was once a band of friends and compatriots. this certainly seems the case on tv and in magazines with the recent death of well-known celebrities. i myself have already set out to create a surrogate family of my own with my dog and friends - have i missed an important lesson from rob, mikee, and alex? am i being counter productive by doing this when i strive to keep the lines of communication open among the family i started with? it's late and i find i have no definitive answer, rather a bleakness as i search for the exact type of feeling i should have. i do find myself thinking about the future and hoping for more.

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